Tag Archive | men’s issues

I Love Men

When I tell people I’m a feminist, they assume I hate men. On the contrary. I love men (just ask my friends: I never shut about Hugh Jackman). I think men are fantastic.

I don’t get them.

I think it all started when I was a little kid. I saw it in TV shows, heard it from my relatives, and it was the excuse that teachers gave when I cried to them about two boys who made fun of me for eating paper and erasures (I was an odd kid). I was told, basically, that guys will be dicks to you if they like you. Then none of the guys I was friends with did that, because they’re decent human beings, and I was so confused.

Also, I was told that boys were only interested in one thing before I knew what the “one thing” was. Was it food? I wondered. I also am only interested in food. Does that make me a boy?

Then, after the magic of puberty began, I was (implicitly) told that I had to be this thing that no man I met who was worth a damn actually cared about and I was even more confused. Of course, on my side, I was told to expect a Disney prince who was perfect and romantic all the time. I’m still waiting.

I started to wonder if men really knew what they wanted. I mean, it takes my boyfriend forever to decide what to order at a restaurant.

I could understand that, that was for sure. I never knew what I wanted either

When I got older, I realised that men were in charge of most of the media telling us these things. Then, it got even more confusing. Why were men creating and marketing these things when it wasn’t what they actually wanted?

And that’s why I don’t get guys. This stuff is screwing with me too.

I wish I could see the world in terms of “human” and “other human with more/less hair”, but I recognise the gender differences. And the brain differences.

Nobody is doing anything we’re supposed to be doing. I don’t understand it. Stop it.

Things men need to hear.

Hi there men.

My name is Kelsey.

I am not a man.

I am a woman.

Some of you are immediately going to think less of me for that last statement. Some of you are going to dismiss my opinion. That’s not okay, but I ask you to just listen to me for five minutes.

Before I begin, I know a lot of you are going to think throughout this that I’m over reacting, and that not all men are like this.

Tough tits.

Because enough men are that I feel I have to say this. And, if you’re as sick of them as I am, listen to me.

No one is entitled to shit.

It’s hard to hear. But it’s the truth. No one is entitled to anything beyond human rights. You aren’t entitled to a fancy car because you know how to drive, you aren’t entitled to book because you know how to read, and you’re not entitled to another person’s body. Ever.

Being kind to someone does not entitle you to their body.

Being in a relationship with someone does not entitle you to their body.

Thinking someone is attractive does not entitle you to their body.

Telling that person that they are attractive does not entitle you to their attention.

Being more physically imposing than others does not entitle you to whatever you want.

I understand loneliness. I understand rejection. I understand feeling like no one will ever love you and not understanding why.

It hurts.

But that doesn’t mean that you are entitled to hurt someone else.

Maybe no one told you that someone not wanting to date you wasn’t the end of the world. Maybe no one told you that you were special just for being you. And that’s not okay.

But expecting others to “pay” for that is not okay either.

You may be thinking “where does this stupid bitch get off?” or “Look, another feminazi.”Whatever. The point isn’t me. The point is you.

You aren’t owed shit.

The world doesn’t owe you shit.

Life doesn’t owe you shit.

Women

Don’t

Owe

You

Guess what? Life doesn’t owe anyone shit. It’s the way it works. It’s cliché, but life isn’t fair.

Especially not to women.

Admitting that there are problems in the world specific to women doesn’t make your problems less important. Admitting that men cause a lot of these problems doesn’t make you bad for being a man.

Not all men are mass murderers and rapists. It’s okay to feel sorry for people who hurt so much that they hurt lots of people to deal with it. But what they did is not okay. And saying that “not all men” do this is minimizing that some do.

Men are just as likely to be killed by men as women are. We’re in this boat together. Not all men do these terrible things, but the ones that do hurt all of us.

So hi there men. My name is Kelsey. I’m a human. So are you. Let’s work together to make the world safe for all of us.